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| How do you make one disappear? Add the letter G and make it gone |
| (Teacher was telling the students about unitary method.) Teacher: Students, if 1 man can do a work in 6 days, 6 men can do the same work in 1 day. Did you understand? Student : Yes, if 1 boat crosses the ocean in six days, 6 boats cross the ocean in one day. |
| Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is? Pupil: I expect it's around Hadrian's garden miss! |
| Why couldn't the car play football? Because it only had one boot. |
| What word is always spelled incorrectly? Incorrectly! |
| Our teacher talks to herself; does yours? Yes, but she doesn't realise it; she thinks we're actually listening! |
| What language does a billboard speak? Sign language! |
| What don't you do math in the jungle? Because if you do 4+4 you get ate! |
| What word is always spelled incorrectly? Incorrectly! |
| A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "'It's because yer feet ain't empty." |
| How long does it take for a gymnast to get to class? A split second |
| These are real comments made by teachers on their student report cards. 1. Since my last report, your child has hit rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this student to breed. 3. Your child has delusions of adequacy. 4. Your child is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. 5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them. 6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together. |
| How do you say ABC Backwards? "CBA!" |
| What do you say if you get trouble for not doing your homework? "You can't tell me off for something i didn't do" |
| Teacher: Why are you late Joseph? Joseph: Because of a sign down the road. Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late? Joseph: The sign said School Ahead Go Slow! |
| Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is? Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss! |
| Two fathers chat outside school in the morning; -Bill, have you solved your son’s math problems? -Yes, man, I did. Why? -Can you quickly give them to me, so I can copy them..? |
| Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America. Shamu: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America? Ramu: Shamu! |
| TEACHER :Give me three reasons why the world is round Pupil : Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so ! |
| Young Larry stopped by the corner grocery store and read the following list to the clerk: 10 pounds sugar at $1.25 a pound 4 pounds coffee at $1.50 a pound 2 pounds butter at $1.10 a pound 2 bars soap at $.83 each "How much does that come to?" asked Larry. "Twenty-two dollars and thirty-six cents." "If I gave you three ten dollar bills, how much change would I get?" said the boy. "Seven dollars and sixty-four cents," stated the clerk who appeared to be irritated by all the questions. Larry said, as he disappeared through the door, "I don't want to buy the items...that's our arithmetic lesson for tomorrow, and I needed some help with it." |
For these kids who study at school and love Dr-Games, this is the most relevant category for you. Read all the School jokes and tell them in your class. You will be the funniest kid in your class, trust me!
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