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| Q: What is the President Bush's new fitness program to get people walking again? A: GAS at $3/gallon |
| The Post Office briefly considered issuing stamps with George W Bush and Dick Cheney's faces on them. However, test marketing verified that the customers would spit on the wrong side of the stamps. |
| Q: What does Barack Obama think is more dangerous than the Middle East? A: Reverend Jeremiah Wright and a microphone! |
| Q: If Ted Haggard isn't a George Bush Republican, what kind of republican is he? A: A George Michael Republican! |
| Q: Why will Britney Spears vote for Sarah Palin? A: Because she's running out of other crazy things to do. |
| Q: What's the first thing Barack and Michelle will ask their new pastor in Washington, D.C.? A: 'Have you ever been videotaped screaming 'God damn America!'? |
| Q: Barack Obama is on a sinking ship, who gets saved? A: The Country! |
| "President Bush addressed the nation tonight and as always he was hilarious. ... Does it scare anyone else that the president has strokes in between syllables? -Jimmy Kimmel |
| Q. Why does Hilary prefer dogs to Bill Clinton? A. A dog chases his own tail |
| Q: How fat has Al Gore gotten since his presidential run? A: So fat that Bill Clinton is thinking of hitting on him! |
| Q: Did you hear about Obama's plan to end unemployment? A: He's gonna expand the NBA to 32,000 teams! |
| Q: What is the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? A: Lipstick |
| A cannibal was walking through the jungle and came upon a restaurant operated by a fellow cannibal. Feeling somewhat hungry, he sat down and looked over the menu... Tourist: $5.00 Broiled Missionary: $10.00 Fried Explorer: $15.00 Baked Democrat or Grilled Republican: $100.00 The cannibal called the waiter over and asked, ?Why such a price difference for the Politicians? The cook replied, ?Have you ever tried to clean one? They're so full of crap, it takes all morning.? |
| Q. What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician? A. Chelsea Clinton. |
| George W. Bush went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. The doctor said: “Mr. President, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side.” Bush interrupted, “Well, that’s normal, isn’t it? I thought everybody had two sides to their brain?” The doctor replied, “That’s true, Mr. President. But your brain is very unusual because on the left side there isn’t anything right, while on the right side there isn’t anything left.” |
| Donald Rumsfeld gave the president his daily briefing. He concluded by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed." "OH NO!" the president exclaimed. "That's terrible!" His staff was stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sat, his head in his hands. Finally, the president looked up and asked, "Just how many is a brazillion?" |
| "North Korea is getting a new evil dictator. Kim Jong Il is appointing his dim-witted son, Kim Jong W. Il." —David Letterman |
| A Marine was coming home from the Pentagon one day. He noticed that there was a lot more traffic than normal. As he got further up the road all of the traffic had come to a halt. He saw a policeman coming towards his car, so he asked the cop what was wrong. The cop said, "Man we are in a crisis situation. Mr. Clinton is in the road very upset. He does not have the $33.5 million that he owes his lawyers, and his family hates him. He is threatening to douse himself in gasoline and start a fire." The marine asked the cop exactly what he was doing there." The cop said, " I feel sorry for the president so I am going car to car asking for donations." The marine asked, "How much do you have so far?" The cop replied, "Well as of right now only 33 gallons, but many people are still siphoning as we speak!" |
| A high-priced call girl brings a customer to her fancy apartment. He admires the fancy furnishings and the art and asks how she was able to amass such splendor. She replies that those really were her father's, that he was a politician for forty years. He said, "How come you didn't follow in his footsteps instead of choosing this way of life?" She sighed and said, "Oh, just lucky I guess. Besides, I had my moral standards to uphold." |
| Q. Why isn't TSA catching any terrorists? A. They don't screen passengers on Air Force One. |
If you are updated and like to watch news and politics, Your favorite jokes will be Political Jokes. Political jokes will make you laugh about all the famous politicians over the world, Obama, Bin Laden, Bill Clinton and all the other politicans!
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